If Only

Some people think I’m a little outspoken.

Maybe somewhat. But, as with everything else, there’s a story behind it.

Many years ago I had the opportunity to speak up and didn’t. A friend had made some comments that concerned me. “…Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,” Jesus said. (Matthew 12:34) What came out of this friend’s mouth probably would have been dismissed by most people as harmless ‘boys will be boys’ talk. But it was inappropriate talk for a Christian.

I never said anything.

I never challenged my friend on his comment, or what could result if this is what was really in his heart. Years later, I look back and wonder, “What if I had spoken up then? Would my loving accountability have been the wake-up call to bring repentance and perhaps have spared the damage that occurs when the seeds of sin reap the inevitable harvest?”

Since then, I try to speak up. I'm not one of those sign-carrying demonstrators who declare that everyone is going to hell. I don't think that's an effective evangelism method. Sinners sin. That's their nature. But Christians are supposed to be holy, and the Scriptures clearly differentiate between the deeds of the flesh and the fruit of the Spirit.

As a pastor:

I’ve spoken up in leadership situations, because the Bible gives leadership principles.

I’ve spoken up when counseling couples preparing for marriage.

I’ve pointed out those ‘nothing good can come from this’ relationships.

I’ve spoken up to other friends who even appear to be wandering from the truth or making bad decisions.

We all must follow biblical guidelines and the direction of the Holy Spirit on everything from purity, to relationships, integrity and church leadership. When we do, we position ourselves for God’s blessing. When we don’t, we’re headed for destruction, . . . or at least way less than God has intended.

When we don’t throw the penalty flag for 'behavior unbecoming to a Christian' or allow toxic attitudes that don’t reflect Jesus, we contribute to the unhealthy state of the church, allowing those attitudes and sinful behavior to spread through the body of Christ. That's bad enough, . . . but we also reinforce the opinion of the world that Christians are no different. When professing believers talk like the world, act like the world and have the priority system of the world, . . . we are of the world.

Unfortunately, since I’ve started speaking up, it seems that too often, my biblical counsel, sometimes accompanied by desperate pleading is ignored. I'm starting to get a complex! When we don't listen to God's instructions in any area of life or ministry, there will be the inevitable downfall. It grieves me to see lives destroyed, relationships shattered and churches go through difficulty. But, at least I don't have to wonder if things would have been different . . . if only I had spoken up. At least I did what I could to try to spare the relationship meltdown, church crisis, moral failure, family tragedy, etc. How the counsel is received or acted on is, unfortunately, out of my hands.

I feel just a tiny bit better knowing the Apostle Paul and I have at least one thing in common. His counsel was ignored, too in the practical matter of 'to set sail, or not to set sail'. . . that was the question. Against his advice, they set sail. . . and disaster struck. And Paul said in Acts 27:21b. “Men, you should have listened to me…”

So, let's heed the counsel of loving brothers and sisters who may point out something in our lives that run counter to God's Word. It also may be that they've walked this road before, and in their experience have gained wisdom we do not have. We all are susceptible to blind spots. On the other side, consider joining me in speaking out. Not to criticize (there are already plenty with the 'gift of criticism') but to say what God's Word says, to hold up the biblical standard against unethical behavior, gossip, immorality, pride, bitterness, etc. . . even with our friends.

My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins. James 5:19-20

If we don’t, who will? 

Enjoying the Journey,

David